(Written for Gazette or similar small city newspaper)
Let me tell you right off the bat, Smash Burger isn’t the sort of place you’d take your boss to dinner. It’s not the sort of place you’d want to take a first date either. This isn’t, however, a reason not to go to Smash Burger. It is without a doubt the perfect kind of place to go catch some good food with a friend, or just pick up something quick but good. So long as you know what to expect going in, Smash Burger can be just the thing to satisfy that urge for a good burger.
Smash Burger is a surprisingly small but pleasant restaurant. As soon as you enter, you’re greeted by large block letters on the walls showing off the motto of the place: “Smash Sizzle Savor”. This pretty well describes the sort of meal that you can expect from Smash Burger: something simple, but certainly to be savored. The color scheme is red and white, with some nice hanging lights and booths. To order just walk up to the register and with the aid of the large menu hanging to the side order your meal.
The food is actually quite decent, and shouldn’t be written off as ordinary junky fast food. The main dish is a variety of burgers, some of which are quite interesting, like a mushroom-swiss or a green olive burger. For those who are more inclined to have a good, regular burger, that too can easily be done, with all the usual toppings such as tomatoes or onions. Further choices for the customer include a make your own burger option, with plenty of possibilities.
Along with the variety burgers, you can get a chicken burger, or one of a variety of salads. Both include some standard offerings as well as several rather interesting options such as the Cherry BBQ Ranch salad. This variety is one of Smash Burger’s strong points. It should also be noted that thankfully the grease is toned down a lot more than at many other restaurants, though this is definitely not what many would consider a “healthy” meal.
Drinks run the gambit of various pops and milk shakes. Sides (called SmashSides!) offer a fairly unusual variety from the classic French fries and small bowl of chili, to more unique things such as sweet potato fries. One rather odd, but interesting side you can get with your meal is a small basket of fried pickles. You read that correctly, fried pickles. This side comes with a small dipping dish of buttermilk ranch dressing. With the appearance of a circular French fry, they taste exactly like you might think a fried pickle would, more or less a pickle, but with a fried batter coating. It’s a rather unique flavor, but definitely worth looking into if you’re feeling adventurous.
The burgers themselves come served on lush, large buns, with your side all together in a metal fry basket. Where many burgers are intimidating, vertically large, Smash Burgers are more manageable, though quite wide. Not having to stretch your jaw to take a bite is a welcomed relief. All the toppings are fresh and flavorful, lacking that tasteless quality that most freeze dried toppings used in other places have. The burger itself is thick, juicy and actually tastes like a burger, which is an unfortunately rare quality. One side note though, while the green olive burger provides a unique blend of flavors, it is like trying to eat a burger on a bed of marbles. Olives will get everywhere except in your mouth and you will make a mess.
Price-wise Smash Burger is not to bad. Most burgers run from $5-$6, with sides coming at $2-$4. Fountain drinks are $1.79, and milk shakes are $4. If you’re looking for a meal around $10-$15, Smash Burger is a splendid choice.
Perhaps the only real crime that Smash Burger commits is mediocrity. Their burgers are good enough, especially for their price, and will fill you up. But at the end of the day, that’s all that Smash Burger can really offer us. The variety and uniqueness of the menu keeps it from getting old, but in the end, Smash Burger really is just another burger joint. There are literally hundreds of burger joints out there, and Smash Burger really just doesn’t do quite enough to stand out from the crowd. It’s a good choice if you have that craving for a burger and want something better or more unique then McDonalds, but just don’t expect anything more than a good burger.
Jake,
ReplyDeleteNice first draft! I think you do a very nice job of describing all the different types of food and drinks (though I wonder, did you get to try ALL those different types??). I loved that you included the motto "Smash, sizzle, savor" though I must admit that a motto like that does, in fact, turn me off of the place.
I have a couple suggestions for your piece, however. Throughout your review you use the words "you," "me," "I," etc... although these are okay if used sparingly, I think you could eliminate some of the more obtrusive uses and thereby make yourself sound more like a credible, official narrator. Also, I had trouble locating a strong "butt" in your review. Though you wrap everything up neatly at the end, I would like to have seen more of that earlier on.
All in all, great first draft!!
Jake, you managed to make a fast-food burger joint seem like a place with legitimate options in this review (not an easy task, I'd say). I like when you give the reader advice, like with the olive burger that's like eating on a bed of marbles. The food description is nice as well.
ReplyDeleteI will echo Alaina's statement about your use of "you," "me" and "I." Avoiding them would strengthen the piece and your reviewer voice considerably.
I wonder what the people eating in Smash Burger were like, in addition to the people taking your orders behind the counter. Does the view of the kitchen (if any) look like the average Burger King? Is the clientele the same as well, or is it a bit more 'upscale'?
I also found trouble finding the 'but' in your review. It seemed pretty positive throughout, but then you chalk it up to being mediocre in your summary at the end. I think a more lasting and engaging ending could skip the summarization altogether, instead incorporating the idea that Smash Burger isn't anything special throughout the piece.
Jake,
ReplyDeleteI really like your frame, and it is clear from the beginning that Smash Burger is nothing special, just a slight upgrade from McDonalds.
Could you maybe say where the restaurant is located? This seems like an important detail since you are writing to a local audience.
Words like "ordinary," "interesting," "usual," "unique" and "standard" don't really tell me anything...can you find comparison points to maybe emphasize how something is interesting or strange or standard? I think specificity will really make this piece come to life--for instance, you say "While many burgers are intimidating...Smash Burgers are more manageable,." Could you instead compare a Smash Burger with a Big Mac from McDonalds?
Great first draft, Jake!
ReplyDeleteThis review is definitely really helpful for the reader. You outline clearly what they should expect in terms of price, food quality, and experience. One thing you might expand more on is location and atmosphere -- what kind of people eat here? Where is it located?
You do a great job of highlighting multiple different options on the menu. I felt like I got a really good, broad sense of what meals are like. You also do a great job of tying the review up with a concise statement at the end (something I had trouble getting across).
One thing you may want to consider changing is the use of second person throughout your review -- changing the "you"s to something like "diners" or "customers".
This is a wonderful start Jake!
An enjoyable read, Jake. Though I must say that I expected this review to be more...smashing? What does the name "Smash Burger" even mean? I suppose one smashes ground beef into a patty, but still. I expect people here to go around smashing tables and chairs. But I guess that's just me.
ReplyDeleteI guess, otherwise, I'll reiterate what everyone else said: First person and second person seems inappropriate at most times, most of the review seemed positive but the conclusion seemed negative, but most of all, I wanted to know more about the people! The people eating there, the people working there. Do they wear funny paper hats? I imagine them doing so.
Mostly, I want more funny or interesting details. Although you can't just pull them out of your ass, I'm sure that a place called "Smash Burger" is more entertaining than just the food, think hard!
Good start, finished product should be smashing!
Good job covering all the diverse offerings that Smash Burger provides. I also thought that the details about the shape of Smash Burger's burgers compared to the really tall usual burgers was astute and made me want to keep reading.
ReplyDeleteYou say that there are tons of burger joints out there and that Smash Burger doesn't really stand out of the mess. It could be good if you told us about some other burger joints in Kalamazoo that you can compare Smash Burger to.
Like Julia said, more concrete and vivid descriptions will help bring the food to life and allow us to see exactly what Smash Burger offers.
I'd like to see more about the overall atmosphere as well. We get some physical description and descriptions of the food but I'm interested in how everything works together and the general ambiance of the restaurant.
Jake
ReplyDeleteI think you do a great job of establishing what positive elements Smash Burger has to offer before actually getting your food. Going to a fast food burger joint, I would worry that I would immediately start criticizing and looking at the place critically before taking it in as a whole. You did a great job of resisting that urge.
I think going more in-depth into the customizable menu would be good. What toppings can you get? If you can get green olives, I would assume you can get more than just the tomatoes and onions you mention. Maybe figure out what the biggest or oddest combination that location has ever had? That would be something I would be interested in.
Like others have said, I also wondered what type of people were at Smash Burger. From your descriptions, it sounds like a place for younger people and I'd be curious to see if that's true. Also, you leave out a lot of the atmosphere besides the brief color scheme and large sign. I didn't come off remembering the feeling of the place.
You also never mentioned that Smash Burger is a chain, which I think is a really important element that you should note.
Overall, I think you have a solid start. Adding more concrete details and background about the restaurant would be helpful and would ground your piece more.
I think it is Such a hard thing to go somewhere similar to the places we go every day and pull out the elements that we might overlook. You do a good job pulling out details that edge away from that, but I think there are some places, like with the description of the place that you could dig a little deeper, maybe? You did a really good job here, examining "the norm" as if from the outside. It's an interesting twist on these reviews.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with Hannah that you could talk about customization and what makes Smash Burger different (I hear you can order good omelets off-menu)... that will give you more impact when you go back and say with your "but" that in the end a burger is a burger~
I like the message you send throughout this piece that you shouldn't expect anything more than just a good burger. It's clean and simple. I was a little confused by the sentence,"...so long as you know what to expect going in," because if somebody hasn't been there they're not going to know what to expect. That's just a picky thing.
ReplyDeleteI think you offer some good introductory information about this place, with the "Smash, Sizzle, Savor." One suggestion I have is to show us rather than tell us about the food. At one point you say, "The food is actually quite decent." That's something we talked about in class on Tuesday.
I think you might spend a little too much time saying, "you can get THIS and you can get THAT." It's a lot of "you can do this" instead of, "Here's what this place offers and this is what it's like." Does that make sense?
One last thing: when you're talking about the price, I wonder if you shouldn't say, "It's not too bad," and instead just list what the prices are and let people decide for themselves. Somebody might not think that's "not too bad." But all in all, nice first draft.
The way this piece is written makes me think that your assuming that the audience will be skeptical about Smash Burger. Maybe this is because you yourself were skeptical but I'm not sure if it works. Also, what is a regular burger, I think this has to be established first before you talk about it. You did a good job describing the buns! It might help if the focus was on how the food tastes instead of how unusual it might be, I know you can write beautiful food description, I just need a little more of it in this! Great Start!
ReplyDeleteHey Jake, nice first draft. For a burger joint which, as you point out in the end, is similar to the hundred of others out there like it, you do a nice job of capturing the personality of the place. You give lots of information about the menu to the reader which is helpful to someone thinking about going there.
ReplyDeleteOne thing to watch out for - you used "good" three times in your first paragraph. I know I'm being really picky, but since you do an excellent job of using adjectives throughout the rest of your piece, maybe you could spice it up a little bit at the start.
Nice first draft!
Jake,
ReplyDeleteI think you’re opening paragraph is great. You’re setting us up for what to expect in your further descriptions.
When you get into actually describing the burgers I’m a little unsure though. You say that some of the choices such as a mushroom and swiss are “interesting.” While I agree that the olive burger is a strange choice, a mushroom and swiss burger can be found on almost every restaurant menu that serves any sort of burger. I agree too with Elaine that you can’t simply say, “a regular burger.” A “regular” burger could be different for every individual.
You also contradict yourself in the final paragraph. All throughout your piece you use the words “unique” and “interesting.” The word unique implies one-of-a-kind-ness, yet you say that is it basically like any other burger joint.
Also, avoid using the same words to describe the foods. Use more metaphoric examples in your descriptions to mix it up.
Finally, be careful again in what you personally construe as different from the norm. I have again experienced many places that serve both sweet potato fries and fried pickles.
With some work this will be a wonderful piece of writing Jake!